Disagree Curiously: The Viewpoints Project's Vision for Transforming Conflict into Connection

The Viewpoints Project, founded by Shira Hoffer, empowers young people to transform disagreement into connection by approaching conflict with curiosity rather than avoidance. Rooted in Hoffer’s personal experiences with constructive dialogue and her academic study of speech and controversy, the organization addresses growing polarization through student-led, research-backed programs in middle schools, high schools, and colleges. Their practical strategies—such as intentional listening, exploring underlying interests, framing open-ended questions, and reaffirming common ground—equip students and families alike to navigate difficult conversations with empathy and openness. As holidays like Thanksgiving bring both togetherness and tension, The Viewpoints Project offers a vision in which disagreement becomes an opportunity for understanding, strengthening relationships, and cultivating the democratic skills vital to a healthy society.

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As Thanksgiving approaches, many of us are anticipating the warmth of gathering with loved ones, the comfort of familiar traditions, and perhaps a moment to pause and reflect on what we're grateful for. Yet for countless Americans, holiday gatherings also bring a familiar knot of anxiety—the anticipation of those inevitable hot-button topics that seem to find their way to the table year after year.

Political divisions, cultural differences, and competing values can transform what should be moments of connection into sources of tension. But what if these challenging conversations could become opportunities for genuine understanding instead of just arguments to endure?

The Viewpoints Project, a student-led nonprofit organization, is working to make this vision a reality by empowering young people to approach disagreement with curiosity, whatever the topic. Founded by Shira Hoffer during her time at Harvard University, the organization emerged from her personal journey navigating conflict-healthy family dynamics, pluralistic education, and the increasingly polarized landscape of campus discourse.

From Personal Experience to National Impact

Hoffer's path to founding The Viewpoints Project reflects the evolution many of us experience when grappling with difficult conversations. Growing up in what she describes as a conflict-healthy family—where even childhood grievances were addressed through structured dialogue—she developed an early appreciation for the power of constructive disagreement. This foundation served her well through high school, where she cherished late-night conversations with friends about religion and values.

But college presented a different reality. When Hoffer questioned why her class was discussing how to dismantle the university system without first addressing whether they should, she was met with silence and stares. The professor's response—that such questions weren't asked in that class—marked a turning point. Rather than accepting this limitation on inquiry, Hoffer spent the next four years studying speech, controversy, and conflict resolution, eventually completing an honors thesis on how religious and secular students approach difficult conversations differently.
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The urgency of this work crystallized in the aftermath of Hamas's October 7th attack on Israel, when Hoffer witnessed firsthand the dialogue challenges she had been studying. She launched the Hotline for Israel/Palestine, a texting service that responded to questions about the region not with definitive answers, but with resources from multiple perspectives. While the hotline garnered international attention and hundreds of users, Hoffer recognized a deeper problem: many people don't believe they have questions at all. When a teacher reached out asking if they offered workshops, The Viewpoints Project was born.

Building Skills for Democratic Life

​Today, The Viewpoints Project operates as a 501(c)(3) organization dedicated to empowering young people with the skills to engage across differences. Their approach is distinctive in its emphasis on student leadership, sustainability, and customization. After conducting a comprehensive landscape analysis in 2024, the organization identified critical gaps in existing dialogue education and designed programming to address them.
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Their middle and high school consulting is led by near-peers—older students who can relate to the experiences of those they're supporting—and developed in close collaboration with schools. Programs range from single-day workshops to eight-month engagements, working with students, teachers, or both. The collegiate Viewpoints Fellowship takes a particularly innovative approach, infusing campus organizations with a culture of curious disagreement as a tool to achieve their existing goals, reaching students who might never sign up for a traditional dialogue workshop.

The organization's vision is grounded in research demonstrating that curiosity isn't just a nice-to-have quality—it's a powerful tool for transformation. Studies show that higher curiosity is associated with more positive emotional states, greater willingness to examine information that challenges our beliefs, and enhanced learning. Students consistently describe classroom discussions of conflictual issues as their most meaningful educational experiences, even when their teachers prefer to avoid such topics.

Practical Tools for Curious Disagreement

So what does curious disagreement look like in practice, especially around a Thanksgiving table? The Viewpoints Project's approach offers concrete strategies that anyone can use:

Listen on Purpose. There's a meaningful difference between hearing words and truly listening. When you feel yourself becoming defensive or preparing your rebuttal, that's precisely the moment to double down on listening. Check in with yourself: Am I genuinely understanding their perspective, or am I just waiting for my turn to speak? Resist the urge to interrupt. What you learn by listening fully might surprise you.

Consider the Interests. Get curious about the "why" behind your loved one's position. You may fundamentally disagree on the "what," but understanding the values, experiences, or concerns that shape their viewpoint can open up entirely new dimensions of conversation. Two people might stand on opposite sides of Second Amendment debates, yet both deeply care about creating safe neighborhoods for their families. When you explore those underlying interests, you might discover a meaningful conversation about safety, community, and what it means to protect the people we love—even if you still disagree on policy solutions.

Ask "Do," Not "Don't." The way you frame a question can either invite genuine engagement or put someone on the defensive. Open-ended questions that begin with "Do" or "Is" create space for exploration, while questions beginning with "Don't" or "Isn't" often carry an edge of accusation. Compare "Do you think this policy will affect people positively or negatively?" with "Don't you think this policy will harm people?" Small shifts in language can dramatically change the tone of your entire conversation.
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Reaffirm Common Ground. You don't need to reach consensus to have a successful conversation. Some of the most meaningful exchanges end with continued disagreement—but also with strengthened understanding and connection. As conversations wind down, take a moment to acknowledge where you do align. Something as simple as "Thanks for sharing your perspective. While we still disagree on this policy, I'm glad we both care deeply about our community's future" can provide closure while affirming your relationship.

Cultivating Democratic Skills One Conversation at a Time

The Viewpoints Project's work aligns deeply with NCDD's commitment to strengthening democracy through dialogue and deliberation. Research consistently shows that students who participate in thoughtful discussion of conflictual social issues in open, inclusive environments develop democratically relevant understandings, skills, and dispositions. When people engage with contrasting and conflicting views, they sharpen their understanding of their own positions, learn from other perspectives, and develop the humble recognition that competing orientations have their own advantages.

This Thanksgiving, as you gather around tables with people you care about, you have an opportunity to practice these skills. The conversations we have with family and friends are where we develop the capacities our democracy desperately needs: listening deeply, seeking to understand, asking genuine questions, and finding common ground even amid real differences. These intimate dialogues are training grounds for the larger civic conversations our communities require.

The Viewpoints Project envisions impassioned and constructive disagreement in dynamic discussions where curiosity and open-mindedness thrive, and all participants are treated with dignity. It's a vision that transforms conflict from something to be avoided into an opportunity for growth, connection, and deeper understanding.
So this holiday season, when that contentious topic emerges, take a breath. Get curious. Listen on purpose. You might be surprised by what you discover—not just about the people you love, but about the possibilities that open up when we disagree with grace.
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Ready to learn more about empowering young people to engage across differences? Visit The Viewpoints Project at https://www.viewpointsproject.org to explore their programs, research, and vision for transforming disagreement into meaningful dialogue.